Whether you’re sipping from a cup of canal sludge during Alumni Weekend, attending a skills class taught by one of our mailroom workers, or having a romantic encounter with a fellow alum you met on our EscortLine, you can maintain your connection with the MLS community through a variety of events that will engage your mind, heart, and genitals.
July 1: Recent Graduate Cuddle Party
Recent graduates (classes of 1956-2015) are invited to gather at the home of one of our esteemed alums (register for more details), remove their clothes, and use the warmth of other human bodies to help soothe the stress and trauma of your ordinary lives. $50/pp, tax-deductible.
July 15: “Climbing the Legal Ladder: Navigating a Path Into Most Law Firm Office Buildings Through An Open Window”
Join us for a lecture by one of the country’s most experienced art thieves as he explains how to recover from job loss by sneaking into law firms and stealing the paintings off the wall.
August 1: 1st Annual Running With The Rats
Get your exercise running through the sewers of New York City with rats, moles, and dozens of your fellow alums, as well as all current MLS students (event is required for graduation). Refreshments may or may not be served.
August 15: Speed Debating!
Our hugely popular speed debating event is back! Why date, when you can debate? Put your law school skills to the test as you put down fellow alums in ten seconds or less. Perfect practice for taking on those better-credentialed law school grads who think they know everything. Not!
September 1, 2016: Yogurt and Cabbage Tasting
Who needs wine and cheese when you can have yogurt and cabbage? We found a whole bunch of cabbages, and a bucket full of sour milk just outside our doors, so we figured why not store it all for a few months and then share it with the broader law school community? Mingle with fellow alums and try these tasty treats!
September 15: “Data Entry for Dimwits: A Guide To Changing Your Career Mid-Stream”
Join us for this hugely valuable talk by a local senior citizen who just got a job inputting data into some kind of computing machine. She will help you follow in her footsteps, especially because she needs to train a replacement to take over after her hip surgery in October.
October : 3rd Annual MLS Volunteer Day!
Bring your MLS spirit, a pair of latex gloves, and your used syringes to help the MLS community tackle the local drug problem. Let’s make the local drug addicts our friends by injecting them with whatever we happen to have around. Wraps will be served.
October 15: Calling All Networkers!
Come network with other MLS alums to find your next professional opportunity. PROOF OF CURRENT EMPLOYMENT REQUIRED TO ATTEND. NO FREELOADERS.
Check back regularly for more upcoming events….