What’s a law school without an off-key singing group or a year-end minstrel show? Student organizations at Manhattan Law School help stoke the passions that brought students to law school in the first place, distract them from thinking about the quality of their education, and foster the networking skills that unemployed attorneys need.
If you can’t find a student group that represents your interests at MLS, you are welcomed and encouraged to create your own (provided you can adhere to the Manhattan Law School student organization budget of $4 per organization per semester). Here are descriptions of the current student organizations at Manhattan Law School:
AMERICAN UNION OF CIVIL LIBERTIES
The American Union of Civil Liberties (AUCL) was founded in 1920 by radical lunatics. The Manhattan Law School chapter, established in October 2001, serves to annoy MLS administrators who are only acting prudently and appropriately when they conduct random strip searches of students and their companions, on and off campus.
Thousands of people are believed to have gone missing beneath the Gowanus Canal because of their beliefs. Many are held without charge or trial. Torture and the death penalty are widespread. Amnesty Intercanal is working to free them, by hosting panel discussions and film screenings about their plight and serving free pizza at all of their meetings.
BLACK LAW STUDENTS ASSOCIATION
The Black Law Students Association joins together students who are interested in discussing the particulars of Black’s Law Dictionary and comparing the various editions.
CHRISTIAN LEGAL SOCIETY
The Christian Legal Society (CLS) is a non-denominational Christian fellowship that conducts weekly meetings and social events open to all faiths of the Christian persuasion. The focus of the gatherings is learning how prayer can help rescue non-believers from the horrors of Manhattan Law School.
CRIMINAL JUSTICE ACTION NETWORK
The Criminal Justice Action Network (CJAN) is an organization of Manhattan Law students dedicated to increasing justice in the criminal justice system. CJAN advocates for the release of local prisoners into the law school community to serve as peer advisors and mentors.
The Dean’s Bowl is one of the largest law-student-run events in Brooklyn, an annual tackle football game between teams from Manhattan Law School and a local battered women’s shelter. Started in 1966, the Dean’s Bowl raises awareness for the plight of local battered women by tackling them to the ground while they attempt to carry a football into the canal. MLS has won the past 50 games.
ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS LAW SOCIETY
The Entertainment and Sports Law Society (ESL) is one of the largest and most active student organizations at the Law School, consisting of students interested in legal careers in the professional entertainment or sports industries who do not realize that the work lawyers do in these industries is no different from what they do in other industries, except their clients are more demanding and less educated. ESL members have access to special deals on tickets for local poetry slams and bowling tournaments.
ENVIRONMENTAL LAW SOCIETY
The Environmental Law Society helps the law school devise effective strategies to evade fines and regulation arising from its dumping of waste and unnecessary students and staff into the canal.
The MLS Fashionablawyers are a group of law students interested in the world of fashion. They hold an annual “Night of the Ripped Jeans” event to raise money to support the rights of the foreign young children who make their clothing. Free t-shirt at every meeting.
The Federalist Society is a group of conservatives and libertarians who believe that the state exists to preserve freedom, that the separation of governmental powers is central to our Constitution, and that it is emphatically the province and duty of the judiciary to say what the law is, not what it should be. Or, since no one at MLS really understands what any of that means, it’s just a group of law students who like to hang out and smoke pot.
The Golfigators are a group of Manhattan Law Students who aspire to be litigators who spend a few afternoons a week on a golf course thanks to their cushy law firm jobs. [Notice: Because it is no longer the 1950s, and the only golf course in Brooklyn is covered in hypodermic needles, the club has been disbanded until further notice].
HIGH SCHOOL LAW INSTITUTE
The High School Law Institute (HSLI) provides Manhattan Law School students with the chance to learn oral advocacy and writing skills from students at local high schools. These students have demonstrated the ability to improve our bar passage rates by as much as 15%. In return for their service, the high school students also receive diplomas from MLS.
The Improbiterdictavisors is MLS’s very own improv comedy troupe. For years the troupe has been a planning a show in the Spring, but are afraid of other law students throwing them into the canal.
JEWISH LAW STUDENTS ASSOCIATION
The Jewish Law Students Association (JLSA) is an organization for law students of all Jewish faiths to study and debate important questions of Talmudic law such as: am I violating Shabbat if I press the elevator button but it never arrives; does it count as fasting on Yom Kippur if all the cafeteria food I eat comes back up; and, is getting a degree from MLS good enough for my parents to stop considering me a failure?
The Litigrapers, MLS’s Wine Tasting Society, organize multiple tastings at canal-irrigated vineyards, as well as host drag races and other driving competitions through the abandoned streets of the Gowanus neighborhood in Brooklyn.
MLS FOOD SOCIETY
The MLS Food Society is the student group dedicated to critiquing the school’s food offerings. They publish a weekly newsletter as well as a twice-yearly journal concerning Food Law and the violations currently being perpetrated by the student cafeteria.
MLS LAW REVUE
MLS Law Revue is the school’s very own law student-written/directed/produced/performed musical comedy show. Some notable performances from prior years include, “Semen Hat and Law School,” “Clopp, Drop, and Roll,” and “Canal Is Anal Backwards, Almost.”
MLS MILITARY ASSOCIATION
The MLS Military Association is a non-political, non-partisan group that will proudly defend the law school in the event of a military threat. Weapons are stored in Room B173.
MLS WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION
The MLS Women’s Association advocates to open the law school’s positions of power to women of all genders by identifying outstanding candidates as well as exploring current deans and verifying that they are not women.
Manhattan Law School’s Moot Court Program helps students learn how to navigate a courtroom while blindfolded. Participation is mandatory.
OTHER LAW STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (OLSA)
The Other Law Students Association (OLSA) provides a forum for MLS students of any age, race, gender, sexuality, body size, or intelligence, or suffering from any genetic issue, handicap, or emotional problem to come together and discuss what makes them different and how to cope.
RUNNING FROM THE LAW
Running from the Law seeks to bring members of the Law School community together who either enjoy running or are fleeing criminal prosecution. The club helps members find good running paths and/or hiding spots around the campus.
The Yoga Club consists of law students who go around clubbing students who are doing yoga. Yoga is stupid. Stop doing it.