Manhattan Law School is looking for a janitor. Read the description below and send your application to firstname.lastname@example.org. We are hoping to hire someone before the annual MLS Post-Exam Vomit Party.
Maintain clean and safe buildings and grounds, free of lawyers and law students. Clean, service, and act as a restroom. Sweep, vacuum, mop, and remove bodies from floors and stairways. Gather and dispose of rubbish, waste materials, and inebriated professors. Inspect doors, windows, and locks to verify that no one has installed any. Trash reports of any needed repairs, safety hazards, or conditions requiring outside vendor services. Shampoo administrators and deans.
Knowledge of standard methods, practices, tools, and equipment of the janitorial service. Knowledge of occupational hazards and safety rules. Knowledge of the proper use of chemicals, fertilizers, and pesticides, especially those used in cafeteria food offerings. Law degree preferred but not required.
Employee will be exposed to unpleasant and noxious people.
SALARY COMMENSURATE WITH EXPERIENCE